How many of us look outside of ourselves to find why something isn’t working? Better yet, maybe you know someone who so obviously has nobody to blame but themselves, yet continually tries to place the blame on someone or something else.
Maybe that person is you.
I’m not ashamed to say that not too long ago, I was that person.
“How did I get here?” “How did this happen?” “Why haven’t I hit any of my goals?”
Somewhere deep inside me I knew where the blame belonged. On me.
Instead of taking personal responsibility for the consequences of my actions I continually ran from them. This manifested itself into anger for others, and various destructive behaviors that served to create a distraction from the truth. In the end I was always left angry and disappointed in myself. I didn’t own my decisions and this led to feelings of depression and apathy towards everything.
Needless to say this was not a great place to be. My life, my relationships, and my training suffered.
I lived life passively. I operated as if I didn’t have any choice. When we make an active choice we take responsibility for that decision. When we settle we are saying that this is “good enough.” The consequences are not our fault, or within our control.
Maybe you want to reach a training or diet related goal, but instead of choosing to do what’s necessary to make a change, you settle for something more comfortable.
Maybe you don’t like your job, but instead doing what’s necessary to enjoy your career, you settle for it. The thought of having no income is scary.
Maybe you’re unhappy in your relationship, but instead of taking action to fix it, you settle for what you have. The thought of being alone is overwhelming.
We can’t always have everything we want. But shouldn’t we be true to ourselves and try?
I think so.
Everyday we make choices, and no choice is small. Every choice we make helps to form the path of our lives. Whether it’s how we train, what we eat, what we do for work, or whom we choose to be with.
So what do you want? What do you want to accomplish in the gym? What do you want to do for work? What do you want from your relationships?
Now ask yourself what you need.
What you need will often get you what you want. But what you need to do isn’t always something you want to do.
If you want to perform better you need to train consistently, rest, and eat right. You might not want to train hard every week. You might not want to prepare healthy meals, do conditioning sessions, or go to bed two hours earlier.
If you want to enjoy your job you need to change, or better yet quit the one that makes you unhappy. You might not want to sacrifice the security of a paycheck. You might not want to start from the bottom somewhere else.
If you’re unhappy in your relationship you need to make changes. You might not want to communicate how you feel. You might not want to make sacrifices for the other person. You might not want to end the relationship and be alone.
When you do you will take responsibility for their outcomes. That outcome may be positive or negative, but when you make choices you take ownership of your life. Don’t settle for anything that makes you unhappy. Change is in your hands and facilitated by each choice you make.
Choose to train with a purpose. Choose to be with someone. Choose to follow your dreams.